Homage to the Nap

The nap: the most accessible, most effective, most universally endorsed and prescribed, most time-tested health regimen in the history of mankind. La siesta, das nickerchen. un pissolino, demež, xiaŏshui, son, kulala usingizi, o uttvvákoς, la sieste, alqaylula, et hitnuma, and in scores of other tongues -- everywhere, whomever – ah, the ubiquitous nap.

When I turned eighty, Jenny Pohlman, a sculptor friend, gave me my first formal prescription: sternly, she said, “take daily after lunch, whether needed or not.” But that wasn't necessary; I took them in kindergarten, didn’t you? I had been using the treatment ever since college when I could arrange my schedule to accommodate. In the army, I would fall asleep in minutes on a smokes-&-water break, nestled on a pile of tires or a gun carriage, pack under my head, helmet tipped over my eyes. At world headquarter of (one-man) FCW Consulting, I closed the blinds of my workspace office and stretched out on the oriental carpet, thinking I was getting away in secret but much to the amusement of my knowing neighbors. Today, my nonagenarian nap is de rigueur and should be as well for you youngsters in your seventies and eighties.

My tips? Effective napping is probably as individual as any other habit, but fwiw, here’s what I do. First, I try to fool the body into thinking it is going to bed. If possible, I go to bed -- but lay atop so I don’t have to make it again. Doff my trousers and socks, take off sweater or shirt. Out with hearing aids, off with eyeglasses. Snuggle under a duvet or blanket.

I set an alarm on my phone: twenty minutes minimum, no more than an hour. If I nap for more than an hour, I wake groggy and disoriented rather than refreshed and later have trouble getting to sleep. I often doze and lucid dream; much of this reflection was mentally composed atop the guest room bed this afternoon as I lay on my belly, inhaling an intoxicating mix of fresh air and stale exhale. I never wake up on my belly but I neither do I ever remember having rolled over.

The nap: to it I owe much that I still am in this countdown of precious days. Try it; you’ll like it.