An Open Letter to my Graduating Grandson

My Dear Peter:

I am writing this on a Saturday night, having relished a wonderful dinner of acorn squash, asparagus, and  a well seared, marinated sirloin accompanied by a 2006 Syrah and Rousanne blend, and now sipping a 1978 Sauternes I have had with me since the early 1980's, going back to Washington, D.C.  Which all means that I am very mellow and therefore likely to be very verbose and very boring.

Your generation has cheapened the word 'awesome', making a mockery of a very wonderful emotion felt by saints and sinners alike when confronting the ineffable.  A chipper and charming young junior at Hamilton College called recently to solicit an annual fund contribution.  She asked if my address was still 6240 89th SE.   "Awesome"  she enthused when I confirmed that I still lived where I had last year.  I then played the grandfather: "Jenny, are you really struck with awe that I haven't moved in the last 12 months?   Let me give you a piece of advice.  When you interview next year for a job or entry into grad school,  for God's sake, don't sound like an over-eager, ignorant chipmunk, brightly parroting  "awesome" every time the interviewer relates some pedestrian fact about the job or school.  Sound like the educated and thoughtful young woman that I am certain you are."  She thanked me... and undoubtedly told her telephone bank compatriots about the old fart she just had on the line..

All leading to what I wish to say, Peter.   I am in awe of your academic accomplishments: a BS in Chemistry with highest honors; a BS in mathematics with highest honors; publication in a peer-reviewed journal as an undergrad; and offers of fellowships from Berkeley, MIT, Michigan, Illinois, CalTech, Wisconsin and Scripps.  And I know you are no drudge, but have a social life as well as an academic one.  Your St. Olaf's career is awesome.

Hamilton is not unlike St. Olaf.   Our motto was "Know Thyself" -- not nearly as stirring as "Fram! Fram!" perhaps (Norwegian: "Forward! Forward!") and not followed by "Christmen" for our founders were non-denominational deists striving to educate the (First Nation) Indians.   But otherwise, not dissimilar.  My pre-med academics foundered on the rocks of organic chemistry and anatomy movies at which I passed out, having PTSD from stabbing my mother the summer after my freshman year -- but that's a separate story. 

At any rate, I did go on to HBS, which in those days, more than half a century ago, was for men with gentlemen C's who could not get into Law or Medical or Divinity schools and paid through the nose for the privilege.  No fellowships for us.

So here we are half a century later.  A grandfather upon graduation of a grandson -- regardless of how accomplished the latter might be and how much in awe the former might be -- is expected to pass on some advice.  Hmm....  

Well, one: choose to associate with good people.  I made the mistake of ignoring that advice from my first boss.  Bill Anklam said "it doesn't matter how you are organized" as we argued about centralized vs. de-centralized product development, "the most important decision in business [life?] is whom you choose to associate with."  Three times I ignored his credo and arrogantly presumed that I could rise above and overcome less than good people, and three times came a cropper. 

Second: teach and coach.  I know you were tempted by Scripps because they would have required no teaching duties and left you to wallow in your research.  But I hope Berkeley makes you teach, for teaching is the best learning there is.  I have learned so much more from my "students" here in the US, in Switzerland, in China, and from those I have coached, than I ever imparted to them.  I am in their debt.  Be a teacher regardless of what you choose to do.

Lastly: enjoy and thrive.  The Waller clock is ticking away in the background, 207 years now steadily marking the passing of time.  You will likely have children in 2020 or '25.  You may be a grandfather in 2045 or '50.  Those grandchildren will be coming out of college by around 2065 or so, assuming you and your peers muddle through and mitigate all the awesome grieves we are capable of inflicting on ourselves.  And the Waller clock, God willing, will still be ticking away, merely some 260 years old. 

You thanked Ann and me for contributing to your education.  You're welcome.  But we did little -- your parents and others did so much more -- you did most of all.  Give back by continuing to accomplish, by being a good person with whom to associate, by teaching and coaching, by enjoying and thriving.  Fram! Fram!